Quick Recap: If you’re in the in-between and wondering what’s next, you don’t have to jump straight to “adopt another pet.” Other options: fostering (for a deployed military member’s pet, or a local rescue), fostering kittens seasonally from your local shelter, and volunteering to get to know pets before you commit to one. If and when you do adopt, the expert-backed 3-3-3 rule (3 days to decompress, 3 weeks to settle in, 3 months to feel at home) can help you know what to expect.
We talked in my last post about the in-between time, the quiet space between losing a pet and maybe getting another. We’re living it right now. We’re in the middle of the longest goodbye with our cat, and we’re beginning to think about what comes next. We miss having a dog around. We also love cats. And if we’re honest, between the four pets we’ve loved over the last five years or so, we’ve spent an enormous amount on vet care, even with pet insurance. My heart needs a break too. So we’re looking at some out-of-the-box options, and I wanted to share them in case you’re weighing the same thing.
It’s Okay If Your Heart (and Your Wallet) Need a Breather
Wanting a pet and being ready for one aren’t always the same thing. Between the emotional weight and the real cost of vet care, it’s fair to want some space before jumping into a full commitment again. Needing a break doesn’t make you any less of a pet person. It makes you someone who knows their own limits, which is its own kind of responsible.
Foster Instead of Adopt, For Now
Fostering lets you have a pet in your home, and in your heart, without the long-term commitment of adoption. A couple of options worth knowing about: organizations like Dogs on Deployment match fosters with pets belonging to military members who are deployed, so you’re caring for a dog temporarily while someone serving our country knows their pet is safe. Local rescues here in Southern California are also almost always looking for fosters, especially to free up shelter space for pets waiting to be pulled.
Consider Fostering Kittens
If you love cats but aren’t sure a dog is the right fit right now, fostering kittens from your local shelter is worth a look. Kitten season means shelters are regularly overwhelmed with litters that need a temporary home before they’re old enough for adoption. It’s a shorter-term commitment, it saves lives, and it might help you figure out what you’re actually missing.
Volunteer First, Decide Later
You don’t have to decide anything right away. Volunteering at a local shelter or rescue lets you spend time around pets without any pressure to take one home. You can even transport for a rescue and pull a pet from the shelter for them and drive to the rescue or foster.
By fostering first, you get to know personalities, not just profiles. For some people, that’s how they end up fostering, and for some fosters, that’s how they end up adopting, when the right one clicks.
When You’re Ready, Remember the 3-3-3 Rule
Whenever you do bring a new pet home, whether it’s tomorrow or next year, it helps to know what the adjustment actually looks like. Pasadena Humane and shelters across the country point to the 3-3-3 rule: 3 days to decompress, 3 weeks to start learning your routine, and 3 months to really settle in and feel at home. It’s a good reminder that a rocky first few days doesn’t mean it’s not working. It usually just means they need time, the same as we do.
There’s no single right path back to having a pet in your life, and no rule that says you have to choose one path forever. Foster for a while. Volunteer. Wait. Adopt when it’s right. All of it counts as loving animals well.
Tell me in the comments: if you’re in the in-between too, what are you considering?
There’s no one right way to love again.
-Love, Mandi
