Losing a pet is one of the hardest things a person can go through, and naturally we want to help a friend through pet loss. If someone you care for: a friend, co-worker, or family member is going through pet loss right now, you showing up for them matters more than you know. Our pets are with us every day and part of our routine. They provide unconditional love for us. No wonder it is so difficult! Here is how to actually help.
1. Validate your friend’s pet loss right away.
Do not wait. Say something. Call, text, or email. Even if you are not sure what to say, say that (I’m not sure what to say that can help, but I feel for you.”). Here are a few scripts that work:
“I’m so sorry that happened. It is very hard to lose a best friend and companion.”
“It’s the routines that are the toughest when they are not there anymore.”
“I’m here for you. Text or call me whenever you are missing them.”
That is it. You do not need the perfect words. You just need to show up preferably in person, or even on the phone or in a text.
If you want help understanding what your friend is going through and why this is so difficult, here is a helpful article from Psychology Today.
2. Acknowledge their pet loss with something tangible.
Give them something soon after. Even just a card means so much. (See some ideas for what to write in a sympathy HERE.) The point is to acknowledge that they lost a family member, not just a pet.
If you want to give something very meaningful, our pet loss care packages were made exactly for this moment.
Each one includes a mini handmade pet portrait created right here in California from your photo, a pet memorial candle hand poured in Michigan with their pet’s name on it, matches, a notecard, and a whole lot of love. It is a gift that says: I see your grief and I am not rushing you through it.
You can order a pet loss care package HERE.
You can also add a candle separately to any pet portrait etching order. The 8×10 matted portrait size is especially popular for a gift to help a friend through pet loss HERE.
3. Follow up, and keep following up.
Grief does not wrap up in a week. Days later, weeks later, even months later, it still hurts. A simple text goes a long way:
“Hey, thinking of you today. Just wanted you to know.”
“Just wanted you to know you’re not alone. I’m still thinking of you.
That is the whole message. You do not need more than that.
4. If you are with them, let them lead.
Give them a choice on whether they want to talk about their pet loss or not.
Let them know they can talk about it or not talk about it. Either is okay. Just being present matters.
And please, avoid saying things like:
“When are you getting another one?”
“It was only a dog.” (Or a cat. Or a rabbit. Or whatever pet they were.)
“There are so many pets in shelters that need homes.”
“You’ll see them again someday.” (We know that but it doesn’t help right now.)
These are usually well-meaning, but they minimize the pain instead of honoring it. Your friend does not need to be redirected right now. They need to feel seen.
Just validate. Acknowledge. Show up with a card, a text, or a heartfelt gift from the heart. I am here if you need help finding the right gift to help your friend through pet loss.
