I feel guilty even bringing this up, but this is the problem with pet caregiver burden. It is something I rarely see others address openly. An exception is Dr. Mary Gardner, Co-Founder of Lap of Love, whose video on this topic I find incredibly helpful. She talks about factoring in the emotional toll of watching a beloved pet decline, the roller coaster of a good day followed by a bad one, and all the time and energy and heartache spent along the way.
I am living this right now. You might be as well. If so, my heart goes out to you!
Pet Caregiver Burden
My cat Stuart is a Maine Coon mix rescue we have had for 13 years. He is my very favorite pet I have ever had. (Shhhh, don’t tell the other furangels!) You can see plenty of photos and video of him on my Instagram or Facebook feed @GreyboyPetPrints (he’s a handsome hunk!).
He was diagnosed with a lung mass, IBD and kidney failure. I take him to the vet twice a week for subcutaneous fluids and an appetite stimulant cream they put on his ear. We are fortunate to have pet insurance, which has made it possible for us to keep going. I’ve written many posts on pet insurance HERE and HERE.
Help with Pet Caregiver Burden
What I am experiencing is this strange emotional dance between anticipatory grief and caregiver fatigue. I want to be honest about that even though it feels uncomfortable to say it out loud, because I do not think of caring for Stuart as a burden. I love him and want every last day with him. And yet, I notice myself getting tired. I notice him probably getting tired of the vet visits too.
I am holding two things at once: wanting more time with him, and wanting to make sure that time is good for him. Right now, he is still eating, still using the litter box, still playing a little, still seems like himself. He is just napping more. If I believed he was truly suffering, I would let him go. But for now, we keep going, together.
I am writing this post for anyone else navigating something similar. Pet caregiver burden is a real thing. It deserves to be named. And your well-being matters too as you walk this road.
If you are going through this, please visit LapofLove.com. Their quality of life resources are made specifically for pet parents in exactly this situation. Look for the video of Dr. Mary Gardner on there talking about all the factors of pet end of life: quality of life, financial, etc.
One thing I know I am doing is still feeling immense gratitude for each new day with Stuart. I know for some pet parents who lost their pet companion suddenly, they wish for just one more day. I get that too! My point in today’s post was to share where I’m at and to validate others going through this too.
For Later
I’m saving Stuart’s whiskers when I see one laying around and have done a paw print of his furry paw so I have that to save. I also have been taking plenty of photos of him and have even recorded his purr on my phone to keep! I’m also planning some little days trips to help myself after I have said goodbye.
I’m not sure exactly which size pet portrait I’ll be crafting later of my Stu, but I’m saving all his momentos that I can! Of course, when it comes time for you to have a special pet portrait handcrafted to show your pet’s unique personality or provide a special gift for your pet parent friend, please visit my pet portrait etching shop. I also have MANY blog posts with plenty of help for pet loss. ‘Til then, let’s take care of ourselves AND our pets!
